Today dawned bright and early with the smile of my darling son beaming up at me at 5:30 in the morning. I said, "Here, my child, have mommy's milk and sleep some more." He said, "Screw you and your milk, let's get up and play." I then spent half an hour trying to sleep while being kicked in the ribs and punched in the face. So I said, if I have to be awake, I must drink coffee.
Fast forward two hours and I am on the couch nursing my sleeping child. I thought, "Well, I'm stuck here and bored, but at least he's going to take a nice nap, that's all that matters." Half an hour later, he was awake.
So I thought, it's a beautiful day, let's a take walk. He announced to the entire neighborhood that walks are stupid and that he hates me.
Come back home, go lay down upstairs...nurse my child, he sleeps...for half an f-ing hour.
Finally, I think to myself. My baby is trying to grow his top teeth, he must be in pain. Let me give him some medicine (dear sweet stain-free white grape infant Advil). He's been asleep for over two hours now.
Thank the lord for Advil.
(FYI, I have no affiliations with or endorsements from whatever company makes Advil...all I know is I want them to keep making it.)