Monday, June 27, 2011

No pictures please!

So I just read a rather disturbing post on Peaceful Parenting. It literally took my breath away and left me feeling absolutely nauseated. It's not that I didn't know there are serious sickos in the world. I'm not naive or stupid. But sometimes you need a wake up call.

If people will do sick and twisted things to their own child, who knows what pervert could get an image off of this blog and sexualize images of me or my son.

So from now on, I'll be using random pictures from the internet. I took all the pictures off previous posts and my little button and I will be incognito from now on.

So here is my reminder to all of you. I love the internet, but we're never alone out here in cyberspace. Please keep yourself and your loved ones safe from internet and real life predators. This site felt safe and innocent to me...but I can never be sure who might be paying attention.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Enjoy it while it lasts...

My time as a stay at home mom is winding down. I knew from the beginning that I only had 10 months to be home with my little guy. Part of me hoped all the while that my husband would get some fantastic raise and our situation would change, but unfortunately that's not the case. It's not that I don't like my job, I do, but I like my baby A LOT more.

So today, I went to the college library to get some books and do a little research for the fall semester. I left the boy with his father, and went to do a little reading. I was only gone for about an hour and a half. When I got home, they were sitting on the front steps waiting for me.

I started walking toward them, saying hi to the boy, and I realized my ear piece for my phone was wrapped around my foot, so I turned to throw it back in the car. When I turned back around, Button's smile had turned into serious tears...the closed eyes, open mouthed, noiseless cry. It broke my was slightly amusing since I wasn't actually going anywhere and I could swoop right in and pick him up. But the guilt was immediate all the same.

Not too much later, I put him down for his afternoon nap. We laid together nursing; I was feeling pretty sleepy myself. And all I could think was, I don't want to leave him. I let myself fall asleep with him...when I woke back up, I held him close, thinking about how little time I have left to just relax and enjoy him. Summer will go too fast, I think.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


So we had yet another weight check today. My little guy is up to 15 lbs, 10 ozs. He gained exactly 1 pound between visits...the doctors were happy with that, which means they are off my back about it, which means I'm happy about it!

The concern was that he had dropped from the 25th percentile to below the 5th between his 4 month and 6 month well baby checkups. So the doctor showed me the chart today and explained that he wanted to make sure that Button's trajectory was consistent rather than continuing to go down, and it's now consistently the 5th percentile, so basically my little guy has set himself a new growth pattern.

I have to say, I don't love this particular doctor. He has a tendency to ask a question and then keep talking so that I can't answer, or he'll only listen to part of something I say and I can see that he's reacting before I've finished talking so that he's not actually listening to me anymore.

I do like the other two doctors and the physician's assistant though, so I think I will stick it out with these guys unless they do something to make me angry.

Anyway, they are finally convinced that he is growing just fine and that part of the reason he's thin is that he's so active (they seem to be completely ignoring the genetic factor). Maybe it's good that Button has been on a bit of a feeding frenzy lately...he probably gained most of that weight in the past 3 or 4 days!

29 Diapers Giveaway

29 Diapers (a much bigger blog than my little one here) is hosting a natural sunscreen giveaway from Sweetbottoms Baby.

The sunscreen is Loving here to read the review and enter the giveaway.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Why I Love the Duggars

I am a big fan of the TLC show 19 Kids and Counting. I realize that a lot of people dislike the Duggars because of the large size of their family, among other reasons. I'm not here to attempt to change anyone's minds about the Duggars or people of their faith (which I think is the Church of the Latter Day Saints...I'm not even going to pretend to know what that is all about). I just thought I would come on here and say what I like about them.

1. They are completely self-sufficient. Even with such a large family, they take care of themselves. They are debt-free and do not use any government assistance. I know a lot of small families (mine included) that can't say that.

2. They have a strong faith and they use it to teach values to their children. Their children are all respectful, polite and intelligent. Again, I know lots of people who can't say this.

3. Michelle Duggar is perhaps the most patient person in the world. She speaks softly and her children listen to her! She never seems to lose her temper or get annoyed. Again, I have one child, and he is a baby, and I can't say that!

4. They just seem like really sweet, hardworking people.

So you don't have to like the Duggars and you can question their faith all you want, but keep in mind that they are good, family people who (in spite of their public profile) only want to raise their children in peace and with dignity.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

On another note...

So I realized the other day that most of my posts are negative. I guess I've been treating this blog as a place to vent (hopefully somewhat humorously) about the tougher side of having a baby.

But recently I've been reading some really sad message boards and blogs. Things that parents don't ever want to think about.

I read one post on the other day that was so heart-wrenching, I shut the computer as fast as I could and practically ran upstairs to snuggle with my little guy.

And of course, assuming the world doesn't end before then, someday my little guy will be older and will be able to read and will see these posts.

So here is my positive baby is the sweetest, cutest, funniest little person I know. He rocks my world day and night and every day I remind myself that I am supremely lucky and thank God for bringing him into my life.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Ode to Advil

Okay, not a real ode...I've never been too poetically inclined. But I am here to express my love for infant Advil.

Today dawned bright and early with the smile of my darling son beaming up at me at 5:30 in the morning. I said, "Here, my child, have mommy's milk and sleep some more." He said, "Screw you and your milk, let's get up and play." I then spent half an hour trying to sleep while being kicked in the ribs and punched in the face. So I said, if I have to be awake, I must drink coffee.

Fast forward two hours and I am on the couch nursing my sleeping child. I thought, "Well, I'm stuck here and bored, but at least he's going to take a nice nap, that's all that matters." Half an hour later, he was awake.

So I thought, it's a beautiful day, let's a take walk. He announced to the entire neighborhood that walks are stupid and that he hates me.

Come back home, go lay down upstairs...nurse my child, he sleeps...for half an f-ing hour.


Finally, I think to myself. My baby is trying to grow his top teeth, he must be in pain. Let me give him some medicine (dear sweet stain-free white grape infant Advil). He's been asleep for over two hours now.

Thank the lord for Advil.

(FYI, I have no affiliations with or endorsements from whatever company makes Advil...all I know is I want them to keep making it.)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Mommy Guilt

So after the past week of poor sleep, I went out and got a library card today so I could check out every book on infant sleep I could find. This involved swallowing my fear that the library police would discover that I took books out 15 years ago and never returned them.

I came home with Dr. Sears's Night-time Parenting, Dr. Karp's The Happiest Baby on the Block, Tracey Hogg's Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, and a couple others. I've started the first two, and I'm hoping I have time to read and digest them all in a relatively short period of time.

I realize that a good deal of our current sleeplessness is due to teething, but as previous posts illustrate, my little Button has been a poor sleeper since birth, and I'd really like to make some attempt at helping him sleep better for his own good.

So the mommy guilt came in tonight as I was nursing him to sleep and reading the Dr. Sears book. Dr. Sears (for those of you who don't know) preaches attachment parenting. I consider myself a semi-attachment parent. I don't let my baby cry it out, I wear him as much as he will tolerate (so not much), and I co-sleep (though I was against it initially). Maybe it's just my dislike for labels, but I can't seem to fully identify myself as any particular type of parent, attachment or otherwise.

Anyway, as I was laying there, I suddenly had this overwhelming sense that last night and the whole rest of the week, my poor little man has been in incredible pain as these top two teeth try to push their way through his sweet little gums. I felt so terrible that I lose my patience and get so angry--and downright mean.

Of course, I can't go back in time and check my temper. I can't undo the swearing under my breath, the slamming of doors, the angrily grabbing things to take with me. But I can try to remember this next time. Babies cry for a reason. My baby is hurting and even though I'm exhausted and stressed, I need to keep my head and check my temper.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Snooze Cruise

I was recently livid. By recently, I mean about 45 minutes ago. I clicked my baby into the car seat, backed out of my driveway, and practically peeled away from my house...muttering all sorts of foul-mouthed oaths under my breath the whole time. But a funny thing happens once your child falls asleep...all that anger fades (slowly, this time, but it's fading all the same). I'd say I'm downgraded from livid to irritated.

My husband is out for the evening, which is fine. He doesn't go out much and he's such a great dad, I don't begrudge him the occasional evening out, especially since "out" for him involves sitting around at a friend's house playing video games or watching movies.

My little guy normally nurses to sleep around 7 every evening; I'm not saying it goes perfectly every evening, but typically, at some point in the 7 o'clock hour, my child sleeps. When hubby is out, I usually don't stress about bedtime too much and as a result things go pretty smoothly.

While most bedtimes are far from perfect, this past week has been hell. We got off track with the holiday weekend, and I've spent the rest of the week trying to undo the damage...easier said than done.

Last night was our best night; he nursed in bed and fell asleep around 8:30...tonight has been the worst. He fell asleep nursing around 7; I stupidly breathed a sigh of relief. Twenty minutes later, guess who was awake? He seemed relatively happy, so I figured, what the heck? and brought him down to the living room. His happiness lasted about 5 minutes. After that, he cried whether he was sitting on the floor with his toys, sitting in my lap, playing on the bed, snuggled up with me on the bed...he cried...cried tears all the time, no matter what. This was about when I switched gears from irritated/annoyed to so pissed I became a public nuisance.

Once we took off in the Jeep, he was out like a light. A twenty minute drive on which I cooled down while pondering my favorite type of chips, my baby fell asleep and I realized I need new glasses.