So today, I went to the college library to get some books and do a little research for the fall semester. I left the boy with his father, and went to do a little reading. I was only gone for about an hour and a half. When I got home, they were sitting on the front steps waiting for me.
I started walking toward them, saying hi to the boy, and I realized my ear piece for my phone was wrapped around my foot, so I turned to throw it back in the car. When I turned back around, Button's smile had turned into serious tears...the closed eyes, open mouthed, noiseless cry. It broke my heart...it was slightly amusing since I wasn't actually going anywhere and I could swoop right in and pick him up. But the guilt was immediate all the same.
Not too much later, I put him down for his afternoon nap. We laid together nursing; I was feeling pretty sleepy myself. And all I could think was, I don't want to leave him. I let myself fall asleep with him...when I woke back up, I held him close, thinking about how little time I have left to just relax and enjoy him. Summer will go too fast, I think.